Building Resilience through Self-Agency and Self-Trust

Someday in the future (we imagine), there will be a vitamin-like pill that will help in building our resilience. Today, however, we rely on three systems and sources to build our resilience.

1. Intra-individual: gender, sex, biology, physiology, health behaviour
2. Interpersonal: education, family, competence and knowledge, interpersonal relationships and social groups, skills, and experience
3. Socio-ecological: access, formal, and informal institutions, geography, socio-economic status

Realistically, an individual’s access to resources that support resilience varies greatly across the globe and even within a community. I reflect on this disparity when I see situations or behaviour that indicate a lack of agency or inability to act in the full best interest for oneself.

Unfortunately, loss of agency or the erosion of agency has become more prevalent in our individual and collective psyche as we question the decisions we make for ourselves in comparison and in contrast to the opinions of others. The barrage of “shoulds” from a litany of experts, those in authority, and non-experts can be overwhelmingly powerful in triggering self-doubt and eroding our resilience.

How do we show up for our BEST self through self-agency? How do we cultivate self-trust?

How can we create a sense of safety (for self and others), a sense of control, and social connections?

Resilience Strategies

When the topic of self-agency and resilience comes up in coaching conversations, I introduce the importance of identifying strategies for when we are not able to change what’s going on around us. Strategies that can cultivate self-trust. Trust in our capability and capacity to consistently act in our best interest.

One effective strategy that I write about often is cognitive reappraisal, also known as “reframing”. A link to the Encore Blog series tagged as “cognitive reappraisal” and “reframing” is provided below¹.

A timely refresher is helpful to wrap up this blog series focusing resilience and stress tolerance.

Reframing helps us lessen negative emotions and increase positive emotions. I’m not suggesting we whitewash, trivialize, minimize, or ignore adverse events, uncomfortable situations, or negative feelings. All are real in our perception and need to be acknowledged. I advocate cognitive reappraisal/reframing as a strategy for changing how we think about the event or situation and move forward with the right emotion and healthy response.

Slow Down, Breathe, Connect

Sometimes, reframing is as simply as using a mantra such as the Serenity Prayer:

“Help me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

One friend taps into her faith with a Bible verse. Another friend reflects on a Torah verse. A neighbour repeats a Muslim prayer. A family member recites the Ojibwe Prayer. In yoga and meditation, we chant Sanskrit wisdom. A mantra, spiritual verse, prayer, or chant can help us slow down, breathe, and connect with our inner strength and what we can change: our own thinking.

We each need to find our own effective way to invoke cognitive reappraisal to regulate our emotions. I use personal affirmations and self-talk to nurture self-trust. Your work is to find what works for you. This is very personal and deep inner work. It’s beautiful and wondrous work that inspires positive emotions of self-agency and self-trust.

Researchers² in the emerging field of study in positive neuroscience have found there are many psychological benefits when we experience positive emotions without necessarily altering or denying negative feelings. After all, it is unrealistic to avoid all negative emotions such as loss or grief. Be reassured and trust that we can grow through these experiences when we change how we respond to an event or a situation including our thoughts and feelings about the event or situation.

Cognitive reappraisal can change the intensity and duration of our feelings. Neuroimaging reveals that when we practise this strategy over time, we change our brains. Cognitive reappraisal increases our overall sense of well-being and resilience. When we take responsibility and engage self-agency for building our own resilience (rather than relying on a pill to boost resilience³), we build our self-trust. Then we can help others to do the same.

Are you ready to work with a qualified coach to help you develop skills, techniques, and strategies that work best for you? Start with your 90-Day EQ Mini-Plan or the mini workbook Emotions Drive Performance: Triggers from Thinking to Results - Predispositions, Self-Handicapping, Self-Sabotage 

Explore the connections I make with this topic and emotional intelligence. You can reach me on LinkedIn. Or click to Get in Touch. 

• Receive Maestro's Encore blog in your inbox with VIP content and offers to accelerate your emotional well-being and resilience. Start with your90-Day EQ Mini-Plan or the mini workbook Emotions Drive Performance: Triggers from Thinking to Results - Predispositions, Self-Handicapping, Self-Sabotage 
• Check out the THRIVE in Work and Life^TM programs.
• Check out the online mini-course Your Building Blocks to Emotional Well-Being and Resilience.
• Follow connections and references to emotional intelligence by investing in your own copy of The EQ Edge - Emotional Intelligence and Your Success, Steven J. Stein, PH.D. and Howard E. Book M.D.

 Resources:

1. Cognitive Reappraisal, tagged Encore Blog series
2. Positive Neuroscience, Chapter 4, The Resilient Brain, Greater Good Science Center, February, 2019
3. Can a Pill that Boosts “Resilience” Treat Depression? – Scientific American, Gary Stix, April 11, 2018