Five Ways to Facilitate Growth after Trauma

How are we going to address and lead recovery and post traumatic growth personally and professionally?

In this series of posts, I have been writing about addressing trauma and recovery by acknowledging that the old leadership styles are being disrupted. A new leader is emerging with emotional intelligence. Leaders at every level, in families, communities, organizations, and throughout the world need to know that clinging to "old ways" will hold us back from recovery and growth. Let's start with self-leadership as each one of us is a member of some organized entity: work, family, community.

The New Emotional Intelligent Leader

Leaders who are consciously developing their emotional intelligence are in an excellent position to serve as expert companions for those who have experienced trauma. The emergence of the New Emotional Intelligent Leader is a response to the disruption of the leadership role. The disruption of the leadership role is a frequent topic in my conversations with clients, colleagues, family members, and friends as we navigate our return to pre-trauma routines.

Flexible Optimism and Self-Leadership

We are looking to the future with “flexible” optimism as we reflect on the short- and long-term impacts of traumatic events. For some, the challenges have brought a new appreciation (and recognition) of personal strengths, capabilities, and capacity. Their growth has focused on self-leadership and self-trust, self-regard and self-actualization. They are exploring new possibilities personally and professionally.

The Importance of Coaching and Mentoring

If you are unsure of where you are in your recovery and post-traumatic growth, know you are not alone. There is also a new appreciation for the importance of coaching and mentoring ¹ to provide the help and guidance that is needed at this time of disruption and post-traumatic-growth.

A traumatic event is often shocking, scary, and sometimes, dangerous. A level of uncertainty still hampers our optimism. While post-traumatic growth (PTG) may happen naturally, there are actions you can take to facilitate the process.

Five Ways to Facilitate Growth after Trauma

1. Educate: Trauma disrupts our beliefs and challenges our assumptions. Trauma can produce anxiety and repetitive thoughts. We do have a choice: Fall into the habit of rumination or divert that energy into doing some deep work. With deep work, trauma can also be a catalyst of positive change. Consider where you might find positive impacts.
2. Regulate emotions: Notice feelings as they occur. Give them space “to be” (without becoming hooked or triggered) by breathing through them. Then, determine what thoughts preceded negative feelings. Replace negative thinking with a focus on past successes, best-case scenarios, and resources and preparation. Physical exercise can also help to regulate emotions.
3. Share your story (Disclosure): Talk about your experience: past and present. Share the effects and your struggles with a trusted confidante (family, friend, colleague, coach, or mentor).
4. Create an authentic narrative (Narrative Development): Accept the past, live in the moment as best as you can, and imagine a better future. Do the deep work to develop your emotional intelligence in the realm of optimism (flexible versus blind). Our experiences through the pandemic have been situational and our optimism and happiness has changed with each experience – high and low. In what ways are you changing? How have you grown? There ARE new possibilities and opportunities. Do the deep work to align who you are today, how you have grown, and what is next for you. REWRITE YOUR STORY! 
5. Be of service: Sometimes, we just need to get out of our own head and out of our own way. Helping others can renew our energy and help us find meaning. Heroic service or a big commitment is not needed. We all need to conserve our physical, mental, and emotional resources as part of our own self-care. However, we all appreciate the power of giving and receiving small acts of kindness ².

"Do things for people, not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are." -- Harold S. Kushner

We are emotionally intelligent resilient beings. Most of us have been surprised by who we have become and how we have developed our personal leadership through the disruption and uncertainty of traumatic events. Consider the disruption and uncertainty experienced during the pandemic.

Been there. Done that. Don't want the t-shirt. Don’t want to do it again. BUT, most likely, will.

We have developed incredible will, courage, and commitment to acknowledge our values and invest in our self-leadership to “preserve and protect our health, our families, and our livelihoods” ³.

While the above list might sound too simplistic, naïve, or optimistic, know that the list is based on years of scientific research published by Richard G. Tedeschi ⁴, Jane Shakespeare-Finch, Kanako Taku, and Lawrence G. Calhoun in Posttraumatic Growth: Theory, Research, and Applications, (Routledge, 2018).

Be patient with yourself and with others. Remember that growth is uncomfortable because you have never been here before.

When you are ready for the deep work, the effort is worth it: YOU are worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone. If you need help, ask someone who you identify as an expert companion, a trusted mentor, or a qualified professional. If I can be assistance, please let me know. 

Would you like to explore the connections I make with this topic and emotional intelligence? You can reach me on LinkedIn. Or click to Get in Touch.

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Resources:

1. Importance of Coaching and Mentoring, Series by Patricia A. Muir, 2022
2. Make a Big Difference – On Small Act of Kindness at a Time, Peter Economy, The Leadership Guy, Inc.com
3. Earth Day 2022 Theme: Invest in Our Planet
4. HBR Crisis Management: Growth After Trauma, July-August 2020, Richard G. Tedeschi