Lead with Love: Extend Love at Work

How can we extend love at work and encourage love in the workplace in a healthy altruistic way?

In previous posts in this series, I presented the definition of love as doing the right thing, at the right time, in the right spirit. This type of love embodies courage, discernment, justice, and humility. Great leaders understand this definition, the healthy distinction, and the power of extending love at work beginning with the quality of their self-leadership.

Leading with love in the workplace begins with self-love and self-compassion and then extends to compassionate love for others.

Extending compassionate love at work can incorporate a simple private meditation, such as the loving-kindness meditation that extends beyond ourselves to other people in our life and at work: a co-worker; a colleague; and others affected directly and indirectly by our work including those who live and work in communities throughout the world.  

Consider how you might be able to expand your loving-kindness to those you don’t know personally, but who you know are hurting.

• May they be happy
• May they be well
• May they be safe
• May they be peaceful and at ease

A link to the full version of the loving-kindness meditation is below in resources.

Never underestimate the positive and peaceful energy you are putting out to the world. To people and to other living beings. Remember the "butterfly effect" in chaos theory?

The loving-kindness meditation was created by Dr. Emma Seppala, Director of Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. The center defines compassionate love as:

“…An attitude toward other(s), either close others or strangers or all of humanity; containing feelings, cognitions, and behaviors that are focused on caring, concern, tenderness, and an orientation toward supporting, helping, and understanding the other(s), particularly when the other(s) is (are) perceived to be suffering or in need.” (Sprecher & Fehr, 2005)

Definitions and Distinctions

Other definitions provide the distinction that leaders need to heed, honour, and communicate throughout their organizations:

“Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect, trust and affection, while passionate love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction.”, Elaine Hatfield, Psychologist.

"Compassionate love, sometimes also called altruistic love, is love that “centers on the good of the other”."  Wikipedia

In what ways do you see leaders extending compassionate loving behaviours that center on the good of the others in responding to today’s difficult times? We all need leadership that helps us in recovery and moving forward with resilience and grace. 

The Hypocrisy of Love in the Workplace

There is no doubt that the concept of love in the workplace has been sullied by the behaviours of high-profile leaders, celebrities, and media personalities that were exposed and that propelled the #MeToo movement. The topic of extending love at work continues to be rife with controversy mostly because of the hypocrisy and duplicity. We need "healthy" connection, a sense of belonging, and hope amidst the uncertainty and fear we have experienced over the past few years - and what we continue to experience. 

There is hope. I am cautiously optimistic. We are starving for leadership that actively models the purity and integrity of compassionate love. We need enlightened leaders who have the courage to set and communicate clear boundaries for the distinction between “compassionate love” and “passionate love”; and we need them to begin with holding themselves accountable for their own behaviour and for creating integrity-based cultures. 

Simply Start with The Platinum Rule

Leaders can start with the spirit of The Platinum Rule. It’s predecessor, The Golden Rule is found in many religious and spiritual teachings. I invite you to reflect on the origin of The Golden Rule in your belief system.

Many authors have been credited with coining The Platinum Rule:

• Dave Kerpen, a NY Times bestseller and serial entrepreneur. Simply stated: “Treat others the way THEY like to be treated.”
• Helen Fisher, Anthropologist describes The Platinum Rule as: “Treat others not as you want to be treated (The Golden Rule), but as they want to be treated. Ask, listen, confirm, offer, and if agreed, act.”

In my research, I found several sources introducing me to The Diamond Rule. One source explained The Diamond Rule as “Treating others the way you want God (your Creator, Higher Source, the Universe) to treat you.” 

WOW! This moment of epiphany led me to reflection. How does The Diamond Rule expand my practical/pragmatic interpretation of the Interpersonal realm in the Model of Emotional Intelligence (Multi-Health Systems, Inc. (2011))?

• Interpersonal Relationships – maintain mutually satisfying relationships
• Empathy – tune into what, how, and why people feel and think the way they do
• Social Responsibility – desire and ability to willingly contribute to the welfare of others

What do you think about extending love at work? Do you have examples of how extending love at work in a healthy altruistic way has contributed to positive experiences of connection and belonging?

I encourage you to begin your own search on The Platinum Rule and The Diamond Rule. See where it takes you. Reflect on how can we use these rules to make the workplace a better place for everyone.

Resources:

• Loving-Kindness Meditation, Greater Good Science Center, In Action

Is this a conversation you would like to continue? Would you like to explore the connection I made with the Interpersonal realm of emotional intelligence? You can reach me on LinkedIn. Or click to Get in Touch.

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