Must Joy Be Jubilant?

The usual fresh enthusiasm for goal setting fell flat in January, 2022. For many clients and colleagues, goal-setting brought on anxiety. Survival surfaced as the ultimate goal. Bewilderment and sadness had cast a dark shadow over joy!

On a weekend as part of a monthly review, I meditated on my own expectations for joy.

"Joy" is associated with some very powerful synonyms: bliss, elation, cheer, ecstasy, rapturous. These words can give us the impression that joy is a pursuit of something grand.

I have held onto this belief for many years: the belief that joy is difficult to find or is fleeting especially when life gets really "hard". 

Must Joy Be Jubilant?

In any dictionary, you will find "joy" associated with those powerful synonyms: bliss, elation, cheer, ecstasy, rapturous. Huge expectations for a little word. With examination and unravelling, I came to the conclusion that my concept of "joy" is a bill-of-goods that I have bought into – blindly chasing something I believe is missing in my life. 

INSIGHT! When we are chasing something that we think is missing, we are inclined to miss and acknowledge other fulfilling experiences.

My Wiser Self -  My Trusting Self

My wiser Self, the Self who trusts that I will choose to do what is in my own best interest, has come up with a list of the little (but powerful) moments that really do add to sustainable joy - for me. I acknowledge that joy need not be jubilant or rapturous. 

Little Moments That Feel Joyful

As I mentally listed moments that lifted my spirits in January and continue to be sustainable, I realized that the little moments, when accumulated, gave me reason to be joy-full.

Here are a few that I would like to share:

• Weekly 10K walks with my adult son. I have learned so much about his thoughts on life at this time in our lives. As a wise friend pointed out, this is like the time I had his undivided attention (and he had mine) in the car when he was little.
• Visits with my father-in-law at the beach. Our visits are "high" on sharing memories; especially, honouring memories of friends and family we have lost recently and in the past. Sharing our memories – good and bad – keeps us humble and appreciative of our precious lives at this time. We have some very funny memories as well – we laugh.
• Yoga practice. My yoga teacher provides as much personal attention to her students in a virtual setting as she did in her studio. I attend three classes a week ending Friday night with Restorative Practice. I build my "nest of comfort".
• Watching my partner improving his "nest of comfort". His sound/listening room. The phenomenal. Adapting new technology and combining his fine-woodworking skills, he up-levels his listening session experience on a regular basis which brings joy to both of us. I enjoy the music floating up through the house to my office. I enjoy being his "second set of eyes" and "creative input" when he has a design challenge. If you have an audiophile in your family, check out his custom built audio rack designs.
• My "non-negotiable" time. I reserve one day a week for caring for my home (my sanctuary) and preparing myself for the upcoming week. While ironing my clothes (yes, ironing is meditative), I watch a favourite TV series or a "girly" movie. I have fiercely protected this best-practice for self-care with boundaries for over a decade. 
• Zoom Pizza Night or Zoom Sunday Brunch with special friends during "lockdown”. We engage in a good mix of debate and share work stories, what we are reading, what music we are enjoying, and other life musings.

Now, your turn. I invite you to list the little moments that give you reason to be joy-full. Be intentional about adding and acknowledging little moments of joy to each week.

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